Funny Flower Quotes and Sayings

Who knew flower quotes could be so entertaining?  Read a few of these sweet little flower quotes and brighten up any dreary day. When there isn't time to send a friend a bouquet of flowers, send a flower quote instead. It is sure to bring a smile.

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
Henry L Mencken

Money is a powerful aphrodisiac but flowers work almost as well.

Robert Heinlein

If you want to say it with flowers, a single rose says: "I'm cheap.”

Delta Burke

Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless: peacocks and lilies for instance.

John Ruskin

Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."

The Washington Post

If dandelions were hard to grow, they would be most welcome on any lawn.

Andrew Mason

If you think squash is a competitive activity, try flower arranging.
Alan Bennett

Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.
Lewis Mumford

Why not a space flower? Why do we always expect metal ships?
W. D. Richter

At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I

Oscar Levant

A man walks into a flower shop "I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help. What exactly have you done?"

--Anonymous

Children in a family are like flowers in a bouquet: there's always one determined to face in an opposite direction from the way the arranger desires.
Marcelene Cox

Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive.
Brian Clough

I hate flowers - I paint them because they're cheaper than models and they don't move.
Georgia O'Keeffe

I named all my children after flowers. There's Lillie and Rose and my son, Artificial.
Bert Williams

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
Doug Larson

Reading music is like listening to flowers. I don't understand the concept.
Paul Westerberg

Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them.
A. A. Milne

I appreciate the misunderstanding I have had with Nature over my perennial border.
I think it is a flower garden; she thinks it is a meadow lacking grass,
and tries to correct the error.
Sara Stein

Poetry is the synthesis of hyacinths and biscuits.

Carl Sandburg

I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some.
Herbert Rappaport

By the time one is eighty, it is said, there is no longer a tug of war
in the garden with the May flowers hauling like mad against the
claims of the other months. All is at last in balance and all is
serene. The gardener is usually dead, of course.
Henry Mitchell